Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta.
 Brian Aldiss

Art is something that makes you proud to be human.
 Amiri Baraka

Humour is falling downstairs if you do it while in the act of warning your wife not to.
Kenneth Bird

The miracle is not that we have done so much with our world, but that we ever did anything.
Ray Bradbury

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.
Charlie Chaplin

Democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried.
Sir Winston Churchill

Tact consists in knowing how far to go in going too far.
Jean Cocteau

Youth is a period of missed opportunities
 Cyril Connolly

Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.
Cyril Connolly

Death is what makes life an event.
Francis Ford Coppola

Arguing with a woman is like trying to read a newspaper in the wind.
Fjodor Dostojevski

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Albert Einstein

Comedy. like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
Marty Feldman

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin

Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.
Benjamin Franklin

Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.
Robert Frost

Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
André Gide

Film is truth, 24 times a second
Jean-Luc Godard

Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.
Ernest Hemingway

Most of one's life is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
 Aldous Huxley

A tired exclamation mark is a question mark.
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

Ink is the great cure for all human ills.
C.S. Lewis

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
John Lennon

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
 John Lennon

A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
  Thomas Mann

Men are creatures who have two legs and eight arms.
Jayne Mansfield

Comedy is the very last alternative to despair. The greater the menace the more potent and important the function of comedy.
Frank Marcus

A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
Peter McArthur

Language is a form of organized stutter.
Marshall McLuhan

Love is the imagination's victory over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken

It is a sin to believe bad things about someone else, althougn seldom a mistake.
H. L. Mencken

Puritanism the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
H.L. Mencken

An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
Charles de Montesquieu

Sex is good for slimming.
Julie Newmar

Love is a disease you cannot hide. One word, one look, even a silence betrays it.
Ahbélard Pierre

Critic is a legless man who teaces other people to run
Channing Pollock

Literature is news that stays news.
Ezra Pound

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.
Ezra Pound

Complaints of suffering are the origins of language.
Raymond Queneau

Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.
Ayn Rand

Words are a lens to focus one's mind.
Ayn Rand

Humility is the worst form of conceit.
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Humour is the ability to see three sides of one coin.
Ned Rorem

Slang is the language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
Carl Sandburg

Literature is the immortality of speech.
August Wilhelm von Schlegel

Words are tools which automatically carve concepts out of experience.
Julian Sorrell Huxley

Language is the main instrument of man's refusal to accept the world as it is.
George Steiner

Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
 Alvin Toffler

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
Mark Twain

A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
Kenneth Tynan

Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.
Kurt Vonnegut

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.
Kurt Vonnegut

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut

Advertising is legalized lying.
 H. G. Wells

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
H.G. Wells

The truly brave man is not the man who does not feel fear but the man who overcomes it.
H.G. Wells

A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.
 Oscar Wilde

The present is the ever moving shadow that divides yesterday from tomorrow.
Frank Lloyd Wright

Dancing is a vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.