SOME USEFUL DEFINITIONS
Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his excreta.
Art is something that makes you proud to be human.
Humour is falling downstairs if you do it while in the act of warning your wife not to.
The miracle is not that we have done so much with our world, but that we ever did anything.
Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.
Democracy is the worst form of government, except all the others that have been tried.
Sir Winston Churchill
Tact consists in knowing how far to go in going too far.
Youth is a period of missed opportunities
Literature is the art of writing something that will be read twice.
Death is what makes life an event.
Francis Ford Coppola
Arguing with a woman is like trying to read a newspaper in the wind.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
Comedy. like sodomy, is an unnatural act.
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Motivation is when your dreams put on work clothes.
Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistably desired.
Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
Film is truth, 24 times a second
Prose is architecture, not interior decoration.
Most of one's life is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
A tired exclamation mark is a question mark.
Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
Ink is the great cure for all human ills.
God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
Men are creatures who have two legs and eight arms.
Comedy is the very last alternative to despair. The greater the menace the more potent and important the function of comedy.
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people.
Language is a form of organized stutter.
Love is the imagination's victory over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken
It is a sin to believe bad things about someone else, althougn seldom a mistake.
H. L. Mencken
Puritanism – the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
An author is a fool who, not content with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations.
Charles de Montesquieu
Sex is good for slimming.
Love is a disease you cannot hide. One word, one look, even a silence betrays it.
Critic is a legless man who teaces other people to run
Literature is news that stays news.
Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree.
Complaints of suffering are the origins of language.
Civilization is the progress toward a society of privacy. The savage's whole existence is public, ruled by the laws of his tribe. Civilization is the process of setting man free from men.
Words are a lens to focus one's mind.
Humility is the worst form of conceit.
François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
Humour is the ability to see three sides of one coin.
Slang is the language that rolls up its sleeves, spits on its hands and goes to work.
Literature is the immortality of speech.
August Wilhelm von Schlegel
Words are tools which automatically carve concepts out of experience.
Julian Sorrell Huxley
Language is the main instrument of man's refusal to accept the world as it is.
Change is not merely necessary to life, it is life.
Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do.
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again.
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
Advertising is legalized lying.
H. G. Wells
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
The truly brave man is not the man who does not feel fear but the man who overcomes it.
A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.
The present is the ever moving shadow that divides yesterday from tomorrow.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Dancing is a vertical manifestation of a horizontal desire.
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